poems
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The waking is the hardest partWake up! Its morning again.Feel the dread,of who you might upset today.Even though you are trying.So hard.So, so hard.But you won’t ever be able to do it.They broke you, remember?You’re not like them.You won’t ever be.And the people who broke you don’t care.Nor will they ever.As if existing wasn’t lonely…
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If I talk about it my hurt will spill onto other people People of whom I would never let experience this pain Not willingly And so it stays inside of me Permeating every waking minute Seeping into my dreams I beg for the day it finally ends I know death is peaceful I’ve visited many…
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There’s nothing to stop the pain my love Years of therapy to define self awareness Every medication combination One at a time, then trying all together Long walks Loving Not loving Praying to a God you swore would never exist Spilling it all like blood onto the canvas Filling the lines of the pages Shocks…
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She chose my brother And he chose my sister And no one chose me. XX🎀 – Matilda
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I focus on the things that do not matter And let everything else slip through my fingers It’s my life after all It’s why you love me And they love me Drawn to the nothingness that I am Bright smile Dancing feet Luring you in with my wild gaze Siren song Electric touch Your heart…
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I am tragically aware that I have spent my whole life chasing a love, that grievously, I will never feel. I then nurtured another me, and also, damned them of that love. The woman before me— void of that love. And now here we sit. Worlds apart. Silent. Malnourished. It didn’t have to be this…
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She Needs You She would not give me love. Nor let another try….. She kept me hungry when others tried to feed me. Hollow I learned to starve quietly. Thinking hunger was in my nature. Empty She thought she was saving me,…
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Song She showed me how to run But never what to do after that So I learned to love, fleetingly I built shelters out of passing glances Found comfort in what couldn’t stay And I’m sorry, my love I just didn’t…
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Sunrise comes, and once again, I’m in pain Grieving the life I could have had Hollow hope Knowing I will never live and breathe and think Like you, like her, like them I carry the grief and guilt in my purple backpack A billowy burden that no one can understand I keep it tucked away…
Matilda's Fugue 