poems

  • There’s nothing to stop the pain my love Years of therapy to define self awareness Every medication combination One at a time, then trying all together Long walks Loving Not loving Praying to a God you swore would never exist Spilling it all like blood onto the canvas Filling the lines of the pages Shocks…

  • She chose my brother And he chose my sister And no one chose me. XX🎀 – Matilda

  • I focus on the things that do not matter  And let everything else slip through my fingers  It’s my life after all  It’s why you love me And they love me  Drawn to the nothingness that I am Bright smile Dancing feet  Luring you in with my wild gaze  Siren song  Electric touch Your heart…

  • I am tragically aware that I have spent my whole life chasing a love, that grievously, I will never feel. I then nurtured another me, and also, damned them of that love. The woman before me— void of that love. And now here we sit. Worlds apart. Silent. Malnourished. It didn’t have to be this…

  • She Needs You She would not give me love. Nor let another try….. She kept me hungry when others tried to feed me.               Hollow  I learned to starve quietly. Thinking hunger was in my nature.              Empty She thought she was saving me,…

  •                              Song She showed me how to run But never what to do after that So I learned to love, fleetingly  I built shelters out of passing glances  Found comfort in what couldn’t stay And I’m sorry, my love I just didn’t…

  • I’ve never seen a fathers love so great than in the way he loves my sister I often wonder what that feels like His love, a sun, but not for me…

  • Sunrise comes, and once again, I’m in pain  Grieving the life I could have had Hollow hope Knowing I will never live and breathe and think  Like you, like her, like them I carry the grief and guilt in my purple backpack  A billowy burden that no one can understand  I keep it tucked away…

  • You mock my gentleness and small voice  But it was your hands that carved the quiet Where do you think I learned to tread so softly? I was made in the shadow of absence  A tenderness forged in the ache of neglect And so, I have lived much of my life with an enormous amount…

  • The sunrise was tired of my sadness  And the ocean was too full from my tears So I left xoxo, Matilda